God's Timing

It's been awhile, but I was just thinking about God's timing this morning and how amazing it is that he knows what we need, when we need it.  Just a little over two years ago, my mom, little brothers and I were changing water.  I was leaning over a ditch to move a dam and my super old LG flip phone fell out of my pocket.  I was REALLY upset.  Little did I know that having my phone get fried from the water would set into motion the chain of events that would bring Bryce into my life.
 I tried to resurrect that silly phone for more than a week.  I tried the rice method for a long time until I finally gave up and bought a smart phone.  That summer, the LDS dating app called Mutual was pretty new and all of my friends had it so I decided to download it just for fun.  I mean, I was 21, not really looking to get married at the time, but why not? Within a week of downloading it, I matched with Bryce. We literally talked for a day before we decided to meet at a fireside in Nampa that neither of us would have EVER gone to otherwise. 
I had no idea that day that two years later, I would be married to Bryce.  The past two years have held some pretty rough times, but through them all, I'm so grateful to know that God was mindful of me all along.  He knew when the timing would be right for Bryce and me.  I was so frustrated with how things were going for a long time but I am eternally grateful that I didn't give up and now I get to be with my best friend forever!  Even though it took a little longer than I expected ;)

Exciting Changes

Since it's been awhile since I wrote on here and one of my goals for the year was to write more, I thought I'd write a post about the last couple months! In old news, I graduated from college!

I absolutely LOVED my time at BYU-Idaho.  I Learned so much, made so many incredible friends, and had many life changing experiences.  But I am ready to see what the future holds!

At the end of January, I started dating Bryce again! Neither of us knew where things would go, but we decided to give things another try and I am beyond grateful that he didn't ignore my text message when I texted him again after several months.

We spent most weekends together through February and March.  We had a lot of really long talks in person and on the phone and both felt really good about a future together. 

On April 12th, Bryce took me flying (which is what we did for our first date over a year and a half ago).  I didn't suspect a thing.  Looking back now, he may have been acting a little more nervous than normal but in the moment, I didn't notice it.  We flew over towards Boise and he started pointing out familiar landmarks like the roads that go past his families farm and and pieces of property they farm.  We went down fairly low over the buildings and as I was looking out the window, I saw Marry Me in lights on the roof of one of the buildings. 

I was so surprised!  I just looked at Bryce for a few seconds and then said "OF COURSE!" I'm so excited to spend eternity with my best friend! 

We're getting married June 21st, 2019 in the Meridian Idaho temple!  (Which is exactly a month away!)

As the past month has gone by, I've been thinking a lot about the last year and a half.  Bryce and I dated for 4 months in 2017 but timing just wasn't right.  I'm grateful he was willing to take a chance on me again after all that time had gone by!  And for your viewing pleasure, here are some of our engagement pictures!

I love this man with all my heart.

The End is in Sight!

In 3 weeks, my time at BYU-Idaho will be over.  Thinking about that completely blows my mind.  Rexburg has been my home (whether I liked it or not) for the past 4 ½ years.  I have learned so many things that have changed the way I see education, life and other people. 

When I was applying for colleges my senior year of high school, I really didn’t want to go to BYU-Idaho.  I just applied since it was the same application as BYU Provo and I figured it couldn’t hurt.  Heavenly Father knew that I was too hard headed to go there by my own choice so, despite my 4.0 GPA and high ACT score, I ONLY got accepted to BYU-Idaho.  I was mad at first but after I got past my pride, I was able to feel peace knowing that it was where I needed to go.  I declared my major as Animal Science not knowing exactly what I wanted to do, but I figured I might as well learn as much as I could to better my family’s cattle operation.  Four and a half years later, I still don’t know what I want to do.  But my view of education and learning has completely changed. 

So, here are some of the key things I’ve learned from my time in college and maybe a little advice. 

Take as many classes as you can!  BYU-I has a credit limit and I’m assuming most colleges do, but take advantage of the time you have at college. You’re paying good money to go so get as much out of your money as you can! I’ve had semesters where I took as few credits as possible and semesters where I took as many classes as I had time for (and I paid the same amount for both!). I felt so much more accomplished at the end of the semesters when I had a full course load. 

Take classes that interest you, even if they aren’t required for your major!  That might be obvious, but it took me a long time to figure out that I can pretty much take any class I want.  I mainly stuck to agriculture related things because that is really what I’m interested in, but I also took psychology, and food science, and flower arranging and a couple marriage classes.  Because I wanted to.  And they ended up being some of my favorite classes!  (Not to say I didn’t enjoy the classes required for my major, because I definitely did!)

You take out what you put in!  I think I’ve learned this the hard way. And I’ve been reminded of it over and over.  I’m guilty of doing the bare minimum to get through a class.  But let me tell you something.  When I look back to those classes, I can’t remember a dang thing I learned.  And then there are the classes that I worked really hard to do well in and to really understand and apply the information.  Those are always the classes that I can actually remember what I learned.  What a surprise, right?  I never regretted putting in the extra effort. 

Talk to your professors!  I have learned that for the most part, professors care about their students and want them to be successful. I’ve never had a teacher that wasn’t willing to help me if I came to them with a problem.  Most teachers become teachers because they are passionate about learning and I have found that to be true of every professor I’ve had at college.  I have received some of the best advice from my teachers who were in my shoes not that long ago.  It has helped me to be able to get through the semesters when I really wanted to quit!  (And I may be just a little biased, but I think the Animal Science department has some of the BEST professors ever!)

Hands on experience is PRICELESS!  I knew from the very beginning of college that I would have to do an internship to graduate but I sure as heck wasn’t happy about it.  I wanted to stay where I was comfortable and not have to do something hard.  (I know, I sound pathetic.)  But then, I moved to Kansas, interned at Deseret Cattle Feeders, had one of the best experiences of my life and my perspective completely changed.  The struggles, the discomfort, the tears (and there were lots of them), the insane number of HUGE spiders, and the cow poop were ALL worth the amount of growth I experienced in those 3 ½ months.  For one, I can kill spiders by myself now, which is a big deal for me! But on a more serious note, I gained a confidence in myself and my abilities that I’d never had before.  I learned that it really is okay to ask for help, and being wrong is how we learn and grow!  I can’t say enough about how much my life has been blessed because of my time in Kansas.  The people there are some of the best I’ve ever met and they hold a very special place in my heart!

And finally, Don’t let school get in the way of your education! This goes right along with the hands-on experience.  But really, school is important and I’m not saying you should ditch class all the time, but if you have the opportunity to learn from someone in the industry you want to be in, skip class in a heartbeat!  Most teachers really are willing to work with you and really encourage learning outside of class!

Well, I’m sure I’ll continue to realize how much my time at BYU-Idaho has blessed my life in the years to come.  For now, I’m going to try to enjoy my last 3 weeks as a college student!

One Year Ago

One year ago. September 1st, 2017, I loaded up my car and began the 1200 mile drive to Garden City, Kansas. I was terrified, nervous, anxious and excited to see what the next 3 1/2 months had in store for me.  Little did I know that those 3 1/2 months would end up being some of the hardest, most rewarding months of my life up to that point. To say that time goes by quickly is a vast understatement. The past year has held some extremely challenging times, but I know that I have never been alone through any of them! Moving to Kansas where I literally knew one person was scary, but I ended up meeting some pretty incredible people who made me feel like I belonged there and who helped me learn and grow and gave me the opportunity to stretch my comfort zone. We all have expectations and hopes for how our lives will end up. I'm definitely not where I expected to be at 22 years old (23 in 2 weeks!!), but I feel so much peace knowing that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Other than graduating with my bachelor's degree in December, I have no idea what the next year has in store for me, but I'm so excited to experience new things and to continue to learn and grow! 

The LAST blog post of the semester!!!

         I was only in eighth grade when my first sibling got married.  I only had one sister growing up so I was more than thrilled to be gaining another one when they got married!  Since then two of my other siblings have gotten married and I have been blessed with some pretty amazing sisters in law and an awesome brother in law.  Since I’m not married myself, I don’t have a lot of experience with in laws other than my siblings’ spouses.  I have heard many horror stories about in laws though.  My sisters in law and my brother in law have just become more siblings to love.  I really liked the quote from chapter 37 of Helping and healing our families: Principles and practices inspired by "The Family: A Proclamation to the World".  It said, “…it means a great deal for an in-law to be referred to by siblings simply as “my brother” or “my sister” rather than always being labeled as in-laws.” (2005, pg 331) Three days after I graduated from high school, I had the great blessing to be able to move in with my sister in law and nephew while my brother had to be away doing an internship.  While it was a hard situation for my brother and his wife, I feel so lucky that I was able to develop such a strong relationship with my sister in law.  She still calls me regularly just to talk and make sure that I’m doing okay.  

      When my second brother got married, things were a little different.  His wife is equally as awesome as my other brother’s wife, I was just a bratty teenager.  I fell into the trap of comparing my two sisters in law and I ended up making things a little rough for a while.  Luckily, I grew up and have since developed a great relationship with both of my brothers’ wives.  Another quote I really liked from Helping and healing our families: Principles and practices inspired by "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" said, “siblings can do much to help new in-laws feel included.  Writing letters, making phone calls that include both sibling and new spouse, and doing activities with the new spouse to increase feelings of belonging.” (2005, pg 332) I’m so grateful for my family, both those who were born into it as well as those who have come into it through marriage.  What a blessing it is to be able to be with them forever because of the temple and the ordinances that are performed there. 

Saying No

When I was in high school, I was like any other teenager.  I thought I deserved everything.  I remember numerous fights and arguments with my parents when they told me I couldn’t do something.  Fast forward a couple years to my first semester of college.  I was talking to my dad one day and I remember telling him how grateful I was that he and my mom did have the back bone to tell me no.  It is so important that parents are willing to be the “bad guys” sometimes in order for their children to understand their place.  I’m the 6^th of 8 kids so as my parents have gotten older, they have not been as strict and I’ve definitely seen the way that has affected my two younger brothers.  They have absolutely no respect for my parents and do whatever they want, even when my parents ask them not to.  I loved the quote that Richard Miller shared from Joe J. Christensen in Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families.  He said,

“Do not be afraid to set clear moral standards and guidelines. Be sure to say no when it is needed. As Dr. John Rosemond counseled: “Give your children regular, daily doses of Vitamin N. This vital nutrient consists simply of the most character-building two-letter word in the English language––‘'No’ . . . Unfortunately, many, if not most, of today’s children suffer from Vitamin N deficiency. They have been over-indulged by well-meaning parents who have given them far too much of what they want and far too little of what they truly need.” (2008)

It frustrates me to see my younger brothers disrespect my parents and it is even more frustrating that my parents seem to do nothing about it.  It’s easy to say that I will do things differently when I become a parent, but I honestly have no idea what it’s really like to be in the position that my parents are in right now. 

Intimacy in Marriage

I really appreciated the readings for this week.  I grew up in a home where sex was never mentioned.  Ever.  Not that I knew nothing.  I grew up on a cattle ranch so I knew where babies came from.  It just drove me crazy that my parents never talked about anything.  Then, fast forward a few years to being in young women’s, all that ever got talked about was how sex is bad.  I know that counsel came from a place of love, but it did anything but help.  I really loved what Brent A. Barlow said in They Twain Shall Be One: Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage. 

“Why does something so beautiful sometimes become a source of so many problems? Part of the difficulty stems from mistaken ideas. Some people still believe that sexual intimacy is a necessary evil by which we have children. These people get an inaccurate view from parents who were too embarrassed to discuss such matters with their children or who were so concerned that their children live the law of chastity that they taught only the negative consequences of the improper use of intimacy.” (1986)

Growing up the way I did has helped me to see ways I want to do things differently when I have a family.  It is important to discuss with your children both sides of intimacy.  The blessings that come from using it the way God intended, as well as “the improper use”.  It is important to give children a healthy view of sexuality rather than have it be viewed as a subject that isn’t discussed.  It will help them in their future marriages to be more willing and comfortable discussing intimacy with their spouses. 

Another quote that I loved from Brent A. Barlow said,

“We believe in it inasmuch as we know of the sorrow that comes from the inappropriate use of sexuality outside the realm of marriage. We are acutely aware of what the prophets, past and present, have warned in these matters. As Alma declared to his son Corianton, “Wickedness never was happiness.” (1986)

I have seen the sorrow that comes in lives of people close to me, as well as in my own life.  Satan is so good at blinding you to the consequences that come from being intimate with someone outside of marriage.  He makes you feel like there is no way things can ever be right again.  But there is.  The Atonement of Jesus Christ is that way.  Kenneth W. Matheson said, “The Savior’s Atonement not only has the power to cleanse us but also to change and purify our hearts.” (2009)  I am eternally grateful for the cleansing and healing power of the Atonement.