The End is in Sight!

In 3 weeks, my time at BYU-Idaho will be over.  Thinking about that completely blows my mind.  Rexburg has been my home (whether I liked it or not) for the past 4 ½ years.  I have learned so many things that have changed the way I see education, life and other people. 

When I was applying for colleges my senior year of high school, I really didn’t want to go to BYU-Idaho.  I just applied since it was the same application as BYU Provo and I figured it couldn’t hurt.  Heavenly Father knew that I was too hard headed to go there by my own choice so, despite my 4.0 GPA and high ACT score, I ONLY got accepted to BYU-Idaho.  I was mad at first but after I got past my pride, I was able to feel peace knowing that it was where I needed to go.  I declared my major as Animal Science not knowing exactly what I wanted to do, but I figured I might as well learn as much as I could to better my family’s cattle operation.  Four and a half years later, I still don’t know what I want to do.  But my view of education and learning has completely changed. 

So, here are some of the key things I’ve learned from my time in college and maybe a little advice. 

Take as many classes as you can!  BYU-I has a credit limit and I’m assuming most colleges do, but take advantage of the time you have at college. You’re paying good money to go so get as much out of your money as you can! I’ve had semesters where I took as few credits as possible and semesters where I took as many classes as I had time for (and I paid the same amount for both!). I felt so much more accomplished at the end of the semesters when I had a full course load. 

Take classes that interest you, even if they aren’t required for your major!  That might be obvious, but it took me a long time to figure out that I can pretty much take any class I want.  I mainly stuck to agriculture related things because that is really what I’m interested in, but I also took psychology, and food science, and flower arranging and a couple marriage classes.  Because I wanted to.  And they ended up being some of my favorite classes!  (Not to say I didn’t enjoy the classes required for my major, because I definitely did!)

You take out what you put in!  I think I’ve learned this the hard way. And I’ve been reminded of it over and over.  I’m guilty of doing the bare minimum to get through a class.  But let me tell you something.  When I look back to those classes, I can’t remember a dang thing I learned.  And then there are the classes that I worked really hard to do well in and to really understand and apply the information.  Those are always the classes that I can actually remember what I learned.  What a surprise, right?  I never regretted putting in the extra effort. 

Talk to your professors!  I have learned that for the most part, professors care about their students and want them to be successful. I’ve never had a teacher that wasn’t willing to help me if I came to them with a problem.  Most teachers become teachers because they are passionate about learning and I have found that to be true of every professor I’ve had at college.  I have received some of the best advice from my teachers who were in my shoes not that long ago.  It has helped me to be able to get through the semesters when I really wanted to quit!  (And I may be just a little biased, but I think the Animal Science department has some of the BEST professors ever!)

Hands on experience is PRICELESS!  I knew from the very beginning of college that I would have to do an internship to graduate but I sure as heck wasn’t happy about it.  I wanted to stay where I was comfortable and not have to do something hard.  (I know, I sound pathetic.)  But then, I moved to Kansas, interned at Deseret Cattle Feeders, had one of the best experiences of my life and my perspective completely changed.  The struggles, the discomfort, the tears (and there were lots of them), the insane number of HUGE spiders, and the cow poop were ALL worth the amount of growth I experienced in those 3 ½ months.  For one, I can kill spiders by myself now, which is a big deal for me! But on a more serious note, I gained a confidence in myself and my abilities that I’d never had before.  I learned that it really is okay to ask for help, and being wrong is how we learn and grow!  I can’t say enough about how much my life has been blessed because of my time in Kansas.  The people there are some of the best I’ve ever met and they hold a very special place in my heart!

And finally, Don’t let school get in the way of your education! This goes right along with the hands-on experience.  But really, school is important and I’m not saying you should ditch class all the time, but if you have the opportunity to learn from someone in the industry you want to be in, skip class in a heartbeat!  Most teachers really are willing to work with you and really encourage learning outside of class!

Well, I’m sure I’ll continue to realize how much my time at BYU-Idaho has blessed my life in the years to come.  For now, I’m going to try to enjoy my last 3 weeks as a college student!

One Year Ago

One year ago. September 1st, 2017, I loaded up my car and began the 1200 mile drive to Garden City, Kansas. I was terrified, nervous, anxious and excited to see what the next 3 1/2 months had in store for me.  Little did I know that those 3 1/2 months would end up being some of the hardest, most rewarding months of my life up to that point. To say that time goes by quickly is a vast understatement. The past year has held some extremely challenging times, but I know that I have never been alone through any of them! Moving to Kansas where I literally knew one person was scary, but I ended up meeting some pretty incredible people who made me feel like I belonged there and who helped me learn and grow and gave me the opportunity to stretch my comfort zone. We all have expectations and hopes for how our lives will end up. I'm definitely not where I expected to be at 22 years old (23 in 2 weeks!!), but I feel so much peace knowing that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Other than graduating with my bachelor's degree in December, I have no idea what the next year has in store for me, but I'm so excited to experience new things and to continue to learn and grow! 

The LAST blog post of the semester!!!

         I was only in eighth grade when my first sibling got married.  I only had one sister growing up so I was more than thrilled to be gaining another one when they got married!  Since then two of my other siblings have gotten married and I have been blessed with some pretty amazing sisters in law and an awesome brother in law.  Since I’m not married myself, I don’t have a lot of experience with in laws other than my siblings’ spouses.  I have heard many horror stories about in laws though.  My sisters in law and my brother in law have just become more siblings to love.  I really liked the quote from chapter 37 of Helping and healing our families: Principles and practices inspired by "The Family: A Proclamation to the World".  It said, “…it means a great deal for an in-law to be referred to by siblings simply as “my brother” or “my sister” rather than always being labeled as in-laws.” (2005, pg 331) Three days after I graduated from high school, I had the great blessing to be able to move in with my sister in law and nephew while my brother had to be away doing an internship.  While it was a hard situation for my brother and his wife, I feel so lucky that I was able to develop such a strong relationship with my sister in law.  She still calls me regularly just to talk and make sure that I’m doing okay.  

      When my second brother got married, things were a little different.  His wife is equally as awesome as my other brother’s wife, I was just a bratty teenager.  I fell into the trap of comparing my two sisters in law and I ended up making things a little rough for a while.  Luckily, I grew up and have since developed a great relationship with both of my brothers’ wives.  Another quote I really liked from Helping and healing our families: Principles and practices inspired by "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" said, “siblings can do much to help new in-laws feel included.  Writing letters, making phone calls that include both sibling and new spouse, and doing activities with the new spouse to increase feelings of belonging.” (2005, pg 332) I’m so grateful for my family, both those who were born into it as well as those who have come into it through marriage.  What a blessing it is to be able to be with them forever because of the temple and the ordinances that are performed there. 

Saying No

When I was in high school, I was like any other teenager.  I thought I deserved everything.  I remember numerous fights and arguments with my parents when they told me I couldn’t do something.  Fast forward a couple years to my first semester of college.  I was talking to my dad one day and I remember telling him how grateful I was that he and my mom did have the back bone to tell me no.  It is so important that parents are willing to be the “bad guys” sometimes in order for their children to understand their place.  I’m the 6^th of 8 kids so as my parents have gotten older, they have not been as strict and I’ve definitely seen the way that has affected my two younger brothers.  They have absolutely no respect for my parents and do whatever they want, even when my parents ask them not to.  I loved the quote that Richard Miller shared from Joe J. Christensen in Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families.  He said,

“Do not be afraid to set clear moral standards and guidelines. Be sure to say no when it is needed. As Dr. John Rosemond counseled: “Give your children regular, daily doses of Vitamin N. This vital nutrient consists simply of the most character-building two-letter word in the English language––‘'No’ . . . Unfortunately, many, if not most, of today’s children suffer from Vitamin N deficiency. They have been over-indulged by well-meaning parents who have given them far too much of what they want and far too little of what they truly need.” (2008)

It frustrates me to see my younger brothers disrespect my parents and it is even more frustrating that my parents seem to do nothing about it.  It’s easy to say that I will do things differently when I become a parent, but I honestly have no idea what it’s really like to be in the position that my parents are in right now. 

Intimacy in Marriage

I really appreciated the readings for this week.  I grew up in a home where sex was never mentioned.  Ever.  Not that I knew nothing.  I grew up on a cattle ranch so I knew where babies came from.  It just drove me crazy that my parents never talked about anything.  Then, fast forward a few years to being in young women’s, all that ever got talked about was how sex is bad.  I know that counsel came from a place of love, but it did anything but help.  I really loved what Brent A. Barlow said in They Twain Shall Be One: Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage. 

“Why does something so beautiful sometimes become a source of so many problems? Part of the difficulty stems from mistaken ideas. Some people still believe that sexual intimacy is a necessary evil by which we have children. These people get an inaccurate view from parents who were too embarrassed to discuss such matters with their children or who were so concerned that their children live the law of chastity that they taught only the negative consequences of the improper use of intimacy.” (1986)

Growing up the way I did has helped me to see ways I want to do things differently when I have a family.  It is important to discuss with your children both sides of intimacy.  The blessings that come from using it the way God intended, as well as “the improper use”.  It is important to give children a healthy view of sexuality rather than have it be viewed as a subject that isn’t discussed.  It will help them in their future marriages to be more willing and comfortable discussing intimacy with their spouses. 

Another quote that I loved from Brent A. Barlow said,

“We believe in it inasmuch as we know of the sorrow that comes from the inappropriate use of sexuality outside the realm of marriage. We are acutely aware of what the prophets, past and present, have warned in these matters. As Alma declared to his son Corianton, “Wickedness never was happiness.” (1986)

I have seen the sorrow that comes in lives of people close to me, as well as in my own life.  Satan is so good at blinding you to the consequences that come from being intimate with someone outside of marriage.  He makes you feel like there is no way things can ever be right again.  But there is.  The Atonement of Jesus Christ is that way.  Kenneth W. Matheson said, “The Savior’s Atonement not only has the power to cleanse us but also to change and purify our hearts.” (2009)  I am eternally grateful for the cleansing and healing power of the Atonement.

Charity

In his book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, H. Wallace Goddard quotes C.S. Lewis.  He says,

“When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected: I was caught off my guard… [Yet] surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is. Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth. If there are rats in the cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man: it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light. Apparently the rats of resentment and vindictiveness are always there in the cellar of my soul.” (p 113-114, 2009)

This quote hit me really deeply.  I definitely needed it at this time in my life.  When I broke up with my boyfriend at the beginning of the semester, I was not the funnest person to be around.  I will admit that I sulked, snapped, sneered, snubbed and stormed on a daily basis.  I was upset and I took it out on the people around me (mostly my family).  Most of them didn’t really know the details of the situation so they just thought I was being a horrible person with no reason.  The relationship was destined to fail from the beginning, but I was too hard hearted to listen to what Heavenly Father was trying to tell me.  I completely ignored the promptings he was giving me and because of that, the relationship went down a path of destruction. 

I’m glad I went through this experience because it helped me to better understand how much my Heavenly Father really does love me and want what’s best for me.  It also helped me realize that I still have a lot of growing and improving to do in my life.  I was ready to marry the guy I was dating.  I had no idea how hard things could get because we weren’t on the same page about a lot of really important issues.  Another quote that I loved from Goddard’s book said, “It is my view that most of us have misunderstood the purpose of marriage. It is not a picnic with friends. It is more like a college education with occasional joys, lots of growth, and abundant homework.” (p 119, 2009)  Marriage isn’t easy and I’m so glad I’ve learned the things I’ve learned throughout the course of this semester to better prepare myself for the future.  It is so important that we seek to have charity and learn to love others the way that Christ loves them.

Anger and Forgiveness

In his talk, Agency and Anger, Lynn G. Robbins said,

“He made me mad.” This is a phrase we hear, implying lack of control or agency. This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don’t make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!” (1998)

This quote hit me really hard when I read this talk.  We have a choice in every situation we’re in to either be positive and cheerful, or to be negative and angry.  No one can make us mad.  It’s hard to control our emotions all the time and sometimes we may feel very justified in our anger.  Elder Robbins also said, “

“In Matthew 5, verse 22, the Lord says: “But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment” (emphasis added). How interesting that the phrase “without a cause” is not found in the inspired Joseph Smith Translation, nor in the 3 Nephi 12:22 version. When the Lord eliminates the phrase “without a cause,” He leaves us without an excuse. “But this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away”. We can “do away” with anger, for He has so taught and commanded us.” (1998)

We don’t ever have an excuse to be angry.  Jesus Christ was the perfect example of this.  He was beaten, betrayed, and accused, but he never got angry.  Most of us won’t face such extreme situations in our lives but it can still be hard to be humble and willing to endure through the times when we feel attacked or betrayed.  Elder James E. Faust said in his talk, The Healing Power of Forgiveness, “Hatred retards spiritual growth.” (2007)  When we are so focused and preoccupied with our hatred or anger toward someone, it is hard to feel the spirit and to feel close to the savior.  In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman said,

“For a marriage to go forward happily, you need to pardon each other and give up on past resentments.  This can be hard to do but is well worth it.  When you forgive your spouse, you both benefit.  Bitterness is a heavy burden.”  (p 159, 2015)

I can testify that forgiving someone blesses you more than it blesses the person you are forgiving.  No one is perfect and we will all be angry sometimes.  It’s important to be willing to turn to the savior in humility and allow him to help you to overcome those feelings.

Pride

Learning about pride this week couldn’t have come at a better time for me.  As I was studying the talk, Beware of Pride, from Ezra Taft Benson, there were multiple times where I found myself reflecting on my own life and the thoughts I have towards others.  Towards the beginning of the talk, Ezra Taft Benson said, “The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.”  It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.”  This quote really hit me.  I find myself looking through social media seeing posts from my friends and all I can think about is how I’m jealous of the things they have.  I had a plan for my life when I was in high school, and let’s just say that that plan hasn’t exactly come to pass.  I’m happy most of the time, but there are times when I let my pride get the best of me and I become an angry, bitter person.  When I notice myself going down the destructive path of self-comparison, I try to turn to God for strength to overcome that pride.  I loved the quote from Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage where Goddard said,

“the quality of emotions we experience is different when we are faithful and humble as compared to when we live without faith and with the kind of arrogance that makes us independent of God." Turning to God in faith and repentance is the cure for pride and self-centeredness.” 

It is so important to turn to God rather than feeling like we don’t need him.  It is absolutely necessary in marriage to turn to God when you are going through difficult times rather than be arrogant and feel like you don’t need his help.  I also loved where President Benson said, “Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in other but is rarely admitted in ourselves.”  It is so easy to point out the mistakes of others, but much harder to accept criticism and correction from others.  I am so grateful for the gospel and for the incredible gift of the atonement that allows us to receive the strength we need to overcome our weaknesses. I know that when we are humble and willing to turn to Christ, we will be much happier.  I loved what Goddard had to say about humility and repentance.  He said,

“Many of us grew up dreading humility and repentance. They felt like an unhappy encounter with humiliation. But, as we mature spiritually, we come to recognize humility and repentance as heavenly blessings. We cast off the tattered ways of the natural man and put on the robe of righteousness. It is sweet.” 

Distractions

There are so many distractions that we face on a daily basis that affect the way we connect with the people around us and whether or not we turn towards them or away from them.  In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman said, “Very often, couples turn away from each other not out of malice, but out of mindlessness.”  No couple is perfect and no relationship is perfect but if we work to prevent distractions from causing mindlessness in our relationships, I believe that our relationships will become stronger.  One of the main distractions that I have noticed in my relationships, as well as in the relationships of people around me, is technology.  Technology can be a huge blessing.  It makes our lives much more convenient, but it also has become a form of crutch for many people.  For example, last semester, there were some issues among some of my roommates.  One of them called an apartment council but I already had plans that night.  I was extremely frustrated, but I managed to shuffle around my schedule so that I could make it to the meeting.  Things started getting heated and I pulled my phone out and completely zoned out.  Gottman said,

“Sometimes couples unconsciously use devices as self-distraction during marital conflict… Instead of leaving the room or changing the subject when a delicate marital issue arises, he or she may just shift attention to the ever-present cell phone or tablet. In such cases, the device is enabling turning away.”

I believe this is applicable to all conflicts, not just marital conflicts.  Unfortunately, I used my phone as a way to avoid the conflict that was going on around me.  It didn’t get me out of facing it, it simply made things worse.  It is a much better option to face our conflicts head on with humility and a willingness to work things out, rather than try to avoid them.  When we try to solve problems with the people closest to us, it helps to strengthen our relationships and encourages us to turn towards each other.  I think that it is important to remember to also keep God at the center of our lives as well as at the center of our relationships.  If we are actively seeking to follow Christ, we will have more humility and love in our hearts.  I love the quote that H. Wallace Goddard shared from Ezra Taft Benson in Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage.  He said,

“When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities. We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives.” 

It can be hard to remember this at times, but I have seen the blessing that have come when I had God at the center of my life and I have experienced the pain and heartache when he wasn’t at the center of my life.

Relying On God

Throughout the past several weeks, the idea of getting married has gotten increasingly terrifying to me.  Breaking up with my boyfriend and trying to reevaluate my life has caused a great deal of confusion to enter into my mind.  My entire life, I have wanted to be a wife and a mom, but as I’ve done all of the reading for the classes I’m taking this semester, I can’t help but feel nervous! The world today has such a different idea of marriage from what we are taught in the gospel.  It is hard to not be discouraged when you hear the ever-rising divorce rates and all of the things that will be faced in marriage. 
 In Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, H. Wallace Goddard said, “When we feel hopeless, lost, and desperate, we should call upon Father. In return we, like Adam and Eve, will be shown the path for our journey Home.”  
We must rely on Heavenly Father to give us the faith and courage to press forward, even when life is hard, unsure, and scary.  This principle has helped me a lot in my life, not just at this time, but many times when I have struggled to know what I need to do with my life.  God really knows what is best for us and he ultimately wants us to be happy and to return to live with him again, even if we have to face extreme hardships in our mortal lives. 

As I was reading The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, I was surprised by some of the examples that Gottman shared to illustrate his points.  The many examples of couples who live together but know very little of each other’s daily lives is appalling.  His examples really helped me to see the importance of developing a strong love map.  In order to avoid letting the struggles that you will face in your marriage tear you and your spouse apart, you must a have a strong and detailed love map.  Gottman said, “From knowledge springs not only love but the fortitude to weather marital storms. Couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s world are far better prepared to cope with stressful events and conflicts.”  Knowing details about your spouse allows for greater love and meaning in your relationship.  I’m grateful for the knowledge that I have gained so far from taking this class.  When I do eventually get married, I think I will be better prepared than I would have been otherwise. 

Overcoming the Natural Man

Mosiah 3:19 says, “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

One of the great tests of mortality is to overcome the Natural Man.  When I think of the “natural man” I think of characteristics such as selfishness, anger, lust, pride, and disobedience to the commandments.  All of these characteristics can be extremely detrimental to relationships, both romantic and friendships.  I have seen how these character traits have torn apart couples who started out their relationships very strongly.  It is all too easy to get lazy and start to let the natural man take over.  In John Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he talks about the “4 horsemen of marriage”.  The 4 horsemen are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.  All of these things are characteristics of the natural man.  Satan tries so hard to get us to give in to the natural man tendencies to be self-centered and prideful as well as to criticize others.  He knows that if he can get you started down the path of wickedness by doing small, seemingly insignificant things, it will be much easier to tempt you later on. 

When we don’t allow natural man tendencies to become prevalent in our lives and align our lives with what God wants for us, we will be blessed.  In a BYU devotional in October 2017, Elder Carl B. Cook of the Seventy said, “Blessings do come as we submit our will to Heavenly Father, and the more fully we submit our will to Him, the richer the blessings will be. They may not be the blessings we expect, but they will always be the blessings we need.”  Working to submit our will to the will of God will be a constant daily battle.  I have seen in my past relationships how not submitting my will to the will of God set me up for failure.  I tried to talk myself into doing things that I knew wouldn’t bring me happiness in the long run, but I really wanted them now!  That is another characteristic of the natural man.  The natural man seeks instant gratification without thought of the consequences that may come.  I know that as we seek to overcome the natural man, our lives will become more focused on God and our relationships will improve.  Overcoming the natural man will not be instant and it will take work and a lot of time, but it will be well worth it in the end.

Eternal Marriage

Since I was little, I have been taught that I should always strive to be sealed in the temple to a worthy priesthood holder.  As I have gotten older, this has continued to be a very strong desire in my life.  I’m going to get real here for a minute and share something that is very personal.  I recently ended a relationship with a man that I really did love.  He was extremely important to me and we had grown very close.  He had my engagement ring and was ready to propose to me.  I was prepared to say yes to him.  The thing is though, we weren’t going to get married in the temple.  We both made some choices throughout the course of our relationship that we needed to talk to our bishops about.  I’m not saying that I am perfect in this situation, but I went straight to my bishop while he did not.  Eventually, he decided that he didn’t care about changing and ultimately that is why I broke up with him (although there is more to the situation).  It was (and still is) extremely hard but I know I made the right choice. 

As I’ve reflected on the choices I’ve made in the past months, I have been surprised at the amount of influence I have let Satan have in my life.  In his talk, Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan, Elder Bednar said, “Satan works unremittingly to confuse understanding about gender, to promote the premature and unrighteous use of procreative power, and to hinder righteous marriage precisely because marriage is ordained of God and the family is central to the plan of happiness. The adversary’s attacks upon eternal marriage will continue to increase in intensity, frequency, and sophistication.”  The end is what really stood out to me, “The adversary’s attacks upon eternal marriage will continue to increase in intensity, frequency, and sophistication.”   I have experienced this in my own life.  I was tempted in ways that I never thought existed.  Satan knows what he is doing.  He has a lot of experience.  We MUST do all that we can to fortify our lives against the attacks of the adversary. 

While breaking up with this man that I loved was extremely hard, I know that ultimately, it would have been harder to raise a family with him because of his lack of commitment to God.  I want my children to be raised to love God and I want to have a husband who will be my equal partner in teaching them.  I loved how Elder Bednar used the example of the “marriage triangle” in his talk.

This has become an important principle to me.  I know that if a husband and wife are both devoted to God and continually strengthen their relationship with Him, they will be able to grow closer to each other as well.  It is so important that husbands and wives are equal partners in a marriage, and each is willing to give 100% to making the marriage work.  I know without a doubt that when we put God first in our lives, things really do work out the way that they are supposed to.  I’ve had to learn this the hard way throughout my life but I know that it’s true. 

Defending Traditional Marriage

In 2015, the Supreme Court ruled to legalize same-sex marriage. To be completely honest, I never really cared to do any research about the case (Obergefell v. Hodges).  As I was reading the summary of the case, there were many things that stood out to me, both from the justices that were for the legalization of same-sex marriage, as well as from the justices who dissented.  I feel that it is very important that we are all informed about the issues that are relevant in society today.  It is easy to develop an opinion without doing the proper research.  Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “Never in the history of the world have we had easier access to more information—some of it true, some of it false, and much of it partially true. Consequently, never in the history of the world has it been more important to learn how to correctly discern between truth and error.” Elder James E. Talmage quoting a newspaper article said, “The man who cannot listen to an argument which opposes his views either has a weak position or is a weak defender of it. No opinion that cannot stand discussion or criticism is worth holding. And it has been wisely said that the man who knows only half of any question is worse off than the man who knows nothing of it. He is not only one sided, but his partisanship soon turns him into an intolerant and a fanatic. In general, it is true that nothing which cannot stand up under discussion and criticism is worth defending.”

It is important that we seek learning and knowledge from credible sources and develop an opinion that we can respectfully share with others.  We also need to be willing to listen to people who have differing opinions from us.  We should try to understand where they are coming from and give them respect.  We don’t have to agree with what other people believe, but we can still love them and show them kindness.  As the views and laws of the world are continually getting farther and farther from God’s laws, we must be willing to stand up for what we believe in and what we know to be correct.  One of my favorite quotes from the dissenting Supreme Court Justices said, “The Court invalidates the marriage laws of more than half the States and orders the transformation of a social institution that has formed the basis of human society for millennia, for the Kalahari Bushmen and the Han Chinese, the Carthaginians and the Aztecs. Just who do we think we are?”  The traditional, (and true) definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman has been around for thousands of years.  We must continually stand up for and be advocates for traditional marriage.

Divorce

Dallin H. Oaks gave a talk entitled Divorce. In it, he said, “In one way or another, divorce touches most families in the Church.”  And I think we can add that it touches most families who aren’t members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well.  It may not touch you through an immediate family member, but most people have an aunt, uncle, or cousin (or really close friend) that has been divorced or is currently going through a divorce.  It is hard to see the pain that they endure.  I don’t believe that anyone (in their right mind) goes into a marriage believing that it will end in divorce.  What would be the point of getting married in the first place?  

In society today, divorce has become more and more prominent.  Spencer W. Kimball said in a General Conference address, “The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.”  Satan is working to attack families more than ever before because he knows that the family is central to Gods plan of happiness.  He works to distort the way we see things and blinds us to the consequences of our actions.  We have to be willing to stand up for what we believe in and be able to convey our thoughts to others when they have questions. 

According to The State of our Unions, while the national divorce rate may be fifty percent, for most people it is much lower.  There are several factors that have been found to decrease the chance for divorce.  They include having an annual income of more than $50,000, being affiliated with a religion, having parents that are still married, having a college degree and waiting an average of seven months after marriage to have children (p 74).  While some of these factors are out of our control, most of them are completely in our hands.  In my opinion, the most important factor in avoiding divorce is having a relationship with God.  When a husband and wife are both continually striving to draw closer to God, they will grow closer to each other as well.  I know that God will help strengthen marriages so long as husbands and wives are both trying their hardest to live righteously and strengthen their relationships with him and each other. 

Marriage and Family

It's been awhile since I posted anything on here....  But guess what?  I'll be posting once a week for the next 3 months! I'm taking a couple of online classes this summer while I'm living at home so that my last semester this fall won't be super crazy. One of the classes I'm taking is about marriage and one of the requirements is to start a blog.  So here we are again!  For those of you who have been reading my blog for a long time, you know this isn't the first time I've used this blog for an online class haha But hopefully my writing has improved just a little in the two years since then!  I'll mostly just be sharing things that I learn from my class as well as maybe a few personal experiences, we'll see ;) I would also appreciate any feedback you are willing to give!! On that note, have a great Thursday! And because, why not, here's a picture of my cute bottle calf ;) 

Come What May and Love It!

As I'm preparing to head back to Rexburg tomorrow, the all too familiar feelings of stress and anxiety are beginning to weigh me down. I feel this way every time I embark on a new thing, and even though going to college and living in Rexburg isn't exactly new, It's still a change. I've been thinking a lot lately about attitude and how really, we choose whether or not we are happy and positive!  I really saw the impact of that in my life this last fall. I could have easily been miserable and negative, being in a completely new place and working crazy long hours. But I chose to make a conscious effort every day to be happy and willing to learn and work hard. Some days were still rough, don't get me wrong, but for the most part, I had an incredible learning experience and I am very grateful for my time in Kansas! I know that when we try to put God first in our lives, things really do work out the way that they're supposed to! So, I'm going to, again, choose each day to be happy and seek to make others happy as well. We can't control the challenges that we will face in this life but we can choose how we react to those challenges!