Perspective

The only thing I can think of writing right now is complaint after complaint.  I have started this blog post 5 times and every time it sounds whinier than the last so I'll try to post something not so negative :)  I got to spend the weekend in St. Anthony with Lindsey and Brody.  It was great to get away from Rexburg and to spend some time with them.  We watched several movies and I did a bunch of homework.  I  am having a really hard time being positive.  All I want to do is quit and when I think about school too much, all I want to do is cry!  It's really pretty pathetic!  I don't miss my family as much as I did last semester so that's good I think?  Haha :)  Don't get me wrong, I still miss them A LOT but I'm just not crying about it all the time!  :)  I do REALLY miss my nephew!!  I can't believe he will be 1 in 20 days!!!!  Where did this year go?  I am ready to drop all of my classes and go to Utah!  Yesterday for FHE ( family home evening) one of my roommates shared a story out of the January Ensign called Fireflies.  (Read it!  It's awesome!)  It really made me think about my situation right now.  The article is basically saying that we sometimes lose focus on the eternal perspective because we are too focused on the things that are right in front of us.  Fireflies can sometimes look like stars because they are so close while the stars are so far away.  All I can think right now is getting through this semester and I keep thinking that if I can survive the next 2 1/2 months then I'll just quit college after that.  I know that's not a very realistic perspective to have but It is the only thing getting me through right now.  What will I do with my life if I don't get a degree?  There was a quote from the article that really stuck out to me.

Like the fireflies, temptations and trials loom large because they are close at hand. Meanwhile, the promised blessings, like stars, can appear very distant.

I know that I need to look to the future and remember that growth and learning are all a part of the plan but sometimes I really just want to give up!  

"We all lose our eternal perspective occasionally; the challenge is to regain it as quickly as possible. Though the world may offer attractive, counterfeit rewards, we can look to Jesus Christ as we navigate the twists and turns of life and trust that He truly is “a rewarder of them that diligently seek him”

Well, I guess I didn't do a very good job of being positive but I'm just not feeling very positive right now!  I am thankful for the opportunities I've had and all of the things I've learned from being at college but Anatomy and Physiology just really doesn't seem very relevant to me.  Once again, it's probably my perspective...  Whatever!  I am just telling my self that my grades don't matter this semester...  Hahaha  Anyways, have a good day!!  

The first full week of the semester is over! :)

I'm not going to lie, it's been a long week.  I feel like I haven't done anything, even though I did more homework in this one week than I would have done in two last semester!  I never realized how much I hated Anatomy and Physiology!  I'm missing physics right now to be honest!  :)  My other classes aren't too bad.  I'm in a class called Range Management and my teacher already assigned a paper that isn't due until March 27th!  He is having us turn in every step of the writing process which is pretty frustrating.  (Topic, outline, sources, rough draft, final draft)  A paragraph describing our topic is due next Friday.  I would really much rather write it at my own pace, but whatever!  That same teacher also says "And other examples and how that would occur" between almost EVERY SENTENCE!  It doesn't even fit into what he is saying.  It gets really annoying!!  haha :)  I only have Book of Mormon class once a week but it is for two hours and it is from 5:00 to 7:00 at night.  It's really not bad though! I'm only taking 12 credits this semester because I couldn't have handled taking a math class and Anat and Phys at the same time!!  Anyways, that's about everything exciting about this week. I have to teach Relief Society on Sunday and I haven't even looked at the lesson!  Whoops!  My family is selling our calves tomorrow and man, I really wish I was there!  I hope ya'll have a great weekend!

Not again!!

I really, really, really hate being in college. I know I should be thankful that I have the opportunity to be here, but at the moment, I'm not!  I know that this is a part of growing up but I would MUCH rather be home where i don't have soooooo much homework, were I don't have to pay rent or buy my own groceries, where I know where everything is, where I don't cry every freaking day (just every other) :)  where I have my family...  IS it allowed to drop out of college when you have only done one semester?  I'm considering it!  I know mom, I would be soooo bored...  but at least I would be happy.  Because right now, I am anything but happy.  I know being happy is a choice and it is up to me to make that choice.  But sometimes I just have to wallow in self pitty for a while before I can make that choice!  Any ways, I really should unpack...  Things will get better eventually...